Gretchen Wilson has made a name for herself by singing songs about what a low-rent hillbilly piece of trash she is - so it should come as no surprise when she behaves like one, even in places like airplanes where everyone is super-sensitized to any kind of socially unacceptable behavior.
A heightened sense of anxiety is no never-mind to Queen Gretchen, who on a recent American Airlines flight from Nashville to L.A., decided to let her doggie out of its carrier so it could run around in coach (yes, she was flying coach - and she buys her underwear at Wal-Mart wink, wink). Naturally, this irritated everyone else on the plane, but when flight attendants took the matter up with Miss Super-Important Gretchen, the inbred uber-bitch merely screamed "Fuck you" at them. Nobody tells Gretchen Wilson what to do with her doggie I guess. Thankfully, airplane staff were able to cut off the alcohol supply to Gretchen's dirtbag posse, who were getting themselves stinking drunk (because it's such a long way from Nashville to L.A. by air - who could possibly manage that marathon flight without being pickled?).
I'm not even going to bother asking why people like Gretchen don't just hire private jets if they want to treat a cross-country flight like a rowdy party at some redneck dive - we all know that record companies routinely rob people like Gretchen, meaning they're not actually as rich as everyone thinks they are. What I want to know is, when are airlines going to start instituting the kind of tough security measures situations like these warrant? Gretchen received "an in-flight citation" and was written up by the airline - ooh, that'll learn the bitch. Seriously people - we need to get tough with these assholes. If you act up on a plane like this, there ought to be a commando-trained, ninja air marshal who can come over and just start kicking the crap out of you, no matter how famous you are, and no matter whether you've been drinking or not. Then, if you continue behaving disruptively, the air marshal should be able to strap a parachute to you and chuck you right off the plane. "Have a nice time finding your way through the swamps of Arkansas you pile of redneck garbage. Yeah, they never found D.B. Cooper either." That would convince these turds to either hire that private jet or just shut their fat stupid worthless yaps and keep their dogs in their damn carriers.
(source)
