Michael Jackson may be lost in his own little dream world, but he's not so out-of-touch with reality that he doesn't know what the deal is with his fans.
And what is the deal with Michael's fans anyway? Simple - he doesn't have any. Not in America at least. Not even any crazy Chris Crocker types. He's so over in the U.S., even completely-over people like M.C. Hammer and Jessica Simpson are like, "Wow, Michael Jackson is so over."
Of course, America - as we're always being reminded - is not the whole world. There are a lot of other countries out there, and in many of these countries, Michael is still taken seriously as an entertainer (despite the fact that he doesn't actually perform or make music at all anymore). Many of these insane, don't-get-it countries are in Europe. In fact almost all of them are. For some reason, the Euros still haven't gotten the message that Michael is finished. They still adore him - and Michael knows this. Which is why, when he decided to send a letter to his fans recently, he sent it specifically to his European fan club. Cause that's where his supporters are.
And what did Michael say in his letter? The usual piffle about the huge stuff he's got planned. Quoting the message:
I've been really busy lately...Soon I will be sharing exciting and surprising news with you from my other efforts.
Other efforts? Oh, you mean besides your usual efforts - the ones that involve Jesus juice and child-rape. Gosh, can't wait to hear what the exciting and surprising news is. Maybe you could give us a hint, Michael. Does it have anything to do with a new nose? Maybe one that looks vaguely human? Not like a hunk of putty someone shaped sort of into a nose and then pasted onto your rapidly decomposing face?
It saddens me that the Euros still buy this guy's rap. There's never going to be any exciting, surprising news Euros - there's never going to be a comeback. He's over. He doesn't even care anymore. Any effort he makes toward trying to keep his fans interested is just a reflex now, or the result of some desperate record company exec or publicist prodding him. If Michael had his way he would simply retreat to some secluded place, surround himself with kidnapped children and go to town on them. That's who this guy is. If he weren't rich and famous he'd just be your creepy neighbor, the one who's out in his garage hammering and sawing at three in the morning. The one you try to avoid making eye-contact with if you run into him at the store because you don't want him talking to you. The one everyone suspects any time someone's cat disappears. You know what I mean? A freeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!
(source)
