I was paying no attention to the unpleasantness between meathead Charlie Sheen and his ex-ho Denise Richards - until news came out of the nasty emails Charlie sent Denise. Then I perked up.
Where the hell was I on this story? Denise accusing Charlie of picking up underage boys on the internet? Sending pictures of his pee-pee to people? This is fucking great. And now Charlie's emails ratchet it up even another notch. A sampling of Charlie's venom includes this little missive:
You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and evil and a bad mom, so go fuck yourself, you sad jobless pig.
That's kind of unfair, isn't it? I mean, didn't Denise have a part in some Pam Anderson movie? Weren't they shooting someplace in Canada when Pam and Denise chucked some laptops at photogs and hit an old lady in a wheelchair? Yeah. So, obviously, Denise is not jobless.
Charlie doesn't stop there though. Crazy bastard also had to bring Denise's cancer-stricken mother into the conversation. Said Charlie in response to something Denise said:
Go cry to your bald mom, you fucking loser.
Oh, Charlie - you crossed the line there pal. Now I wouldn't mind a bit if Denise went after your peener with an electric knife.
Of course Charlie has a response to all this:
I will not dignify the majority of these allegations set forth by Denise Richards with any measure of response. On its best day it remains laughable and inane...Brooke [Mueller, Sheen's fiancee] and I remain committed to the task at hand. These unlawful and diabolical accusations will not distract us from the focus of our resolve...I am making every possible effort to assure that the courts focus on my children and their welfare. My refusal to dignify garbage needs to be understood in the context of the history of this case and Denise's need and desire to make it about issues that do not involve anything other than her emotions.
You know Charlie wrote that himself too. He thinks his halfway-decent command of English makes him sound reasonable and smart. But he wasn't smart enough to not get caught emailing pictures of his dick around. Nor did he figure out that someone would save the messages he sent Denise and that they would probably end up getting leaked. So who's the stupid bimbo Charlie?
I thought The Cassandra Crossing was the worst disaster Martin Sheen ever had a hand in. But I was wrong.
(source)
