Celebs tried to save the world again - this time by having some big global concert featuring tiresome acts performing simultanously on something like forty continents. I was too busy falling into a mild coma to notice - and apparently so was most of the rest of humanity. All anyone can muster by way of commentary is that they find slightly odd the idea of staging huge expensive concerts as a way of trying to combat global warming - since the concerts undoubtedly lead to significant emissions of chemicals and gases and various other noxious things, many coming from Madonna's crotch.
Speaking of Madonna...she had the nerve to show up after all those revelations about the stock she owns in companies that are notorious polluters. Guess Madonna figures this is her atonement. Looks to me like she was playing the saint again - awash in heavenly light. Get over yourself you dried-up old hag. And cover your arms. Jesus.
"My belly will save the world. Look at my belly and be free, oppressed peoples!"
Sarah Brightman performed in China. The Chinese really dig Andrew Lloyd Webber. Seriously. The CIA released a bunch of original-cast CDs from Phantom and Joseph and now the Chinese are hooked. It's all part of our plan to bring down their civilization. Looks to me like it's working. Of course they're getting revenge by poisoning our toothpaste and pet food, but that's how these things go.
Sorry, but if saving the earth involves having to look at Fergie, I say let the damn thing die. Sure, we're all willing to make sacrifices. But man...
Joss went to South Africa to sing. She looks like she's getting fat. Comforting herself after being rejected by Wills I bet. Gallon of ice cream at two in the morning. Cry. Whole box of Eggos for breakfast. Cry. Snack on gummi bears and peanut M&M's all day. Cry. Half a bottle of Stoli for lunch. Cry...
