Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a performance of August Osage County on Broadway this weekend. According to other theatergoers, the two spent the whole time texting on their Blackberries, then left at the first intermission. They also say most of the people in the crowd were looking at them instead of the show. Crabbie has used his exclusive inside Reese/Jake sources to get a copy of what they were texting back and forth to each other:
Reese: R U having fun?
Jake: No. Shoes R 2 tight. U?
Reese: No cushion makes my ass hurt.
Jake: How to norms stand these seats?
Reese: Don't know. Poor fuckers.
Jake: They're looking at us.
Reese: I know. Creepy.
Jake: Do U think they know?
Reese: No one knows.
Jake: I think they know. They're staring.
Reese: U'r paranoid.
Jake: No. I can tell. They're giving me that he's a homo look.
Reese: U always think that. Relax.
Jake: Don't touch my hand.
Reese: Sorry. I forgot.
Jake: We agreed, no touching.
Reese: I know, I'm sorry.
Jake: Let's just get the fuck out of here.
Reese: Yes. Let's.
