1. Is Madonna actually adopting an African baby? Or has she already adopted one? Or has she purchased the entire continent of Africa with an eye toward turning it into one big Kabbalah center?Madonna's representative says the singer will make a statement regarding all the adoption stories "within 48 hours." Good thing they gave us that heads-up so we can all clear our schedules for the next two days (wouldn't want to miss that Madonna statement).
Another question: Would it kill Madonna to just pursue her philanthropic enterprises and be done with it? You know, give the poor starving kids some money to buy Shaquille O'Neal jerseys and rusty second-hand bicycles that they can take apart and build crude industrial equipment out of. Like normal people do. Instead of going around like the second-coming of Albert Schweitzer.
2. Does anybody really think Mel Gibson has been sober for the last 65 days? Or any 65 day stretch of his life since he began drinking back around the age of nine?Here's a quote from Mad Mel's interview with GMA's Diane Sawyer:
Years go by, you're fine. And then all of a sudden in a heartbeat, in an instant, on an impulse, somebody shoves a glass of Mescal (tequila) in front of your nose and says, 'It's from Oaxaca.' And it's burning its way through your esophagus and you go, 'Oh, man, what did I do that for?' I can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
So Mel was completely on the wagon for years, then out of nowhere somebody gives him a sniff of some fine south-of-the-border fun-juice and whoops he's off again. Just like that. Bingo, several years of happy sobriety down the drain.
Know what that sounds like to me? It sounds like Mel doesn't have very much impulse control even when he hasn't been drinking. Sounds like the only way for Mel to stay sober is to keep himself away from alcohol completely. So, Mel - keep yourself away from alcohol completely. No parties. No cocktails before dinner. Nothing stronger than Red Bull.
It's sort of funny, isn't it, Mel trying to explain himself by admitting that self-control isn't his long-suit, drunk or otherwise. But I thought booze was the reason he couldn't control his mouth when that deputy pulled him over. Hmm...
3. Is Michael Jackson undergoing a sex change?Somebody has taken some pictures of someone who appears to be Michael Jackson, except that the person who appears to be Michael Jackson has the body of a woman and is dressed in women's clothing.
"I almost fell over in shock," said one eyewitness to the unlikely display. "He looked so feminine. It was as if he's had a sex change. It was so bizarre."
Michael Jackson being bizarre - yawn.
