Boxer-turned-sideshow-freak Mike Tyson and his extra chromosome are looking into a pair of new career opportunities: one as a touring boxer fighting exhibitions against all comers, including women; the other as a prime attraction at revolting whore-mistress Heidi Fleiss's new "stud farm."The first bit comes from Tyson's mouth itself. At a press conference announcing his new charity punching tour, the convicted rapist mentioned his desire to spar with Ann Wolfe, a female boxer whom Tyson describes as being, "a prominent, dominant woman in the boxing field."
Just for the record, Ann Wolfe's promoter says the fight would never happen because Tyson outweighs Wolfe by 70 pounds (and there's always the chance that he could, you know, try to molest her right in the middle of the ring).
The second bit of news, which actually seems less unlikely, comes not from Tyson but the festering, puss-filled mouth of Ms. Fleiss, who claims the crazy bastard called her and volunteered to be one of her studs.
"...he was in the Hamptons with a friend of mine and he called me," Fleiss told an interviewer. " ... I said to him, 'You going to be my stud?' And he said, 'Heidi I don't care what any man says. It's every man's dream to please every woman no matter how old, how young, how fat, how pretty, how ugly, it's every man's dream to please every woman and especially get paid for it.' And, he goes, 'Hell yeah, I'll be your number one stud.'"
A point of contention with Mr. Tyson: Mike, when you say "it's every man's dream to please a woman" - I hate to argue with you (please don't rip my head off and eat it, okay?), but it's actually not. For some men, pleasing a woman is more like a grim task - you know, the kind people assume when they want to pretend they're not actually the thing they are. Like Tom Cruise. Or maybe Tom's a bad example, since all Katie seems to need is a little brainwashing booster now and again and a few spoonfuls of applesauce (Tom's got her on quite a diet). But I digress. The point is, not all men exist to please women. Or rape them. Or punch them in the face. Some men just want to give women a good manicure, or a shoulder-rub, or help them color co-ordinate their den. We're not all fucking savages.
