Monday, March 19, 2007

Hilary Duff's Media-Fueled Self-Loathing


Hilary Duff used to hate her body - and it was all the media's fault. Here's what the fluffy singer/actress had to say on the subject of her noted and precipitous weight-loss:

I did get skinny. When I read "Duff Puff - she's gained 15 pounds," how would any normal person react?

Uh, Hilary - a normal person wouldn't be reading about themselves gaining weight in a tabloid. They have to find out those things from their spouses. "Damn honey, you look like you've gained seventy pounds. Keep this up and I'll be hosing my secretary five nights a week instead of four."

Seriously though - I feel for Hilary. Cause I'm a fat-ass too. And I've always hated myself for it. Unfortunately, the only cure for my self-hatred is large doses of ice cream with Oreos broken up in it. And cheesecake. And raw lard. It's what they call a vicious circle. Thankfully, there aren't any pictures of me floating around looking like a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade float of Wimpy from Popeye. Cause that would hurt. So, Hilary - I'm sorry for what you've gone through. But, if you weren't such a fat, ugly bitch, you wouldn't have these problems.

(source)