The descendants of would-be Hitler assassin Claus Schenk Graf Von Stauffenberg are cheesed at the casting of Tom Cruise as their famed ancestor in the forthcoming film Valkyrie - because they're afraid the film will be used as a tool to promote Cruise's Scientology beliefs. Said Stauffenberg's grandson Count Caspar:
I have nothing against [Cruise] and can even separate his work from his beliefs in Scientology. But I and other family members are worried that the picture will be financed by the sect and be used to get across its propaganda. Unfortunately the family Stauffenberg can do nothing about this. My grandfather is a figure from history.
All right, I need something explained to me by Count Caspar - how in the hell is Tom Cruise supposed to manage to shoehorn his Scientology beliefs into a movie about a guy trying to blow up Hitler with a suitcase bomb? The story is what it is - Stauffenberg and his co-conspirators cooked up the scheme to kill Hitler in a meeting, Stauffenberg planted the bomb under the table and ran for it, the bomb exploded but the heavy wooden table shielded Hitler from the blast, they caught Stauffenberg and he was executed. Um, and where do the aliens and volcanos come in? What, is Cruise having the part of Stauffenberg re-written so he can go off on crazy rants against anti-depressants? Is there a scene where Stauffenberg tells Hitler that Narcanon can help him with his amphetamine addiction? Does he try to get Goering into fat-camp? Is there some little strudel-making missy in the picture whom Stauffenberg brainwashes, marries and impregnates? Is Posh Spice going to be playing Magda Goebbels? Count Caspar - a little hungry for publicity are we? Pissed that Zsa Zsa's husband came up with the whole I Knocked-Up Anna Nicole scam before you? Why don't you try stuffing it, Count Caspar? You and your family are such a bunch of losers. Your grandfather - what a putz. Plants the bomb and doesn't even kill Hitler. He was right freaking there. Just stick a knife in him. Dope.
(source)
