Tom Cruise was honored last evening at a gala thrown by Mentor L.A., which recognized the actor for his commitment to the welfare of the youth of Los Angeles. As many of you know, Tom is a great philanthropist, who has donated much time and money to worthy causes over the years. Thanks to Tom and others like him, the world is a better place for all of us.
Tom and his lovely wife Katie pose together before the Promises Gala. Tom, as many people know, is a devoted husband and father. And he is also a great dog-lover. In fact, Tom loves all living things. Especially the underprivileged kids of L.A. whom he has spent much time and money trying to help.
Tom Cruise backs aside, giving wife Katie Holmes her moment in the spotlight. Tom, as you may know, is a very giving person, who believes in sharing with others. And he loves children and little kittens. And recently Tom acquired the ability to destroy cancerous tumors merely by thinking about them. This makes Tom a world-leader in the fight against cancer. Truly, the world is a healthier, better, safer place thanks to Tom and his healing thoughts. And his saliva which has been known to prevent AIDS.
Everyone loves Tom Cruise. He is perhaps the greatest man in the history of the world. In the future there will be statues erected to him, and epic poems written to honor his compassion and spirit. And parades of kittens will toss flowers at his feet. And babies will beg to partake of the nourishing milk produced by his magic glands. And all the armies of the world will bow before the great and beneficent one, who will, with a sweep of his hand, end all wars for all time, allowing humanity to at least achieve its dream of universal peace.
Thank you Tom Cruise. Thank you oh exalted one.
