Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Angelina Dying?


The National Enquirer is set to report that Angelina Jolie is battling an unnamed "deadly disease." This comes after months of speculation about Angelina's health, which has centered around her dwindling weight, and reports that her brother James Haven and others have expressed concern about her physical well-being. Details are sketchy as to what is supposed to be wrong with Jolie, but the Enquirer is saying that she and Brad are moving out of New Orleans, and that plans for Angie to journey to Prague to shoot a new movie may be in jeopardy.

The first thing one thinks, obviously, is that when you spend as much time in shitholes as Jolie does, you're liable to catch something. Of course, as we all know, these countries aren't shitholes - they're lovely vacation spots that just happen to look like God took a huge dump there. To be honest, it would be a miracle if Angelina hadn't contracted some kind of horrible illness by this point. Of course, Angelina was also married to Billy Bob Thornton once, which proves that her immune system is incredibly strong.

(source)