Ashley Olsen:
Crabbie: Trampy businesswoman who turns tricks on her lunch-hour. Photocopies her ass at the office Christmas party and faxes it to her old boyfriends.
Lagerfeld:
Crabbie: Eat something Lagerfeldula! And not blood this time!
Demi Moore:
Crabbie: Your older sister who can't deal with the fact that she's in her forties now and no one looks at her even though she works out two hours a day keeping her booty tight.
Lagerfeld:
Crabbie: Tedious old fart!
Dita Von Teese:
Crabbie: Oh, you're so elegant Dita. Right up until the moment your face becomes covered with some shock-rocker's semen.
Take that zombie-man!
Lagerfeld:
Crabbie: Whaaaaaa?!
Ali Larter:
Crabbie: You're evil. You're good. Your kid is annoying. Your husband is hot but now dead. You try to kill your shrink yet they still let you out. What the hell's going on?
Duck Lagerfeld!
Lagerfeld:
Crabbie: Oh. That smarted!
Huh?
Elisha Cuthbert:
Crabbie: I'm Elisha Cuthbert. I'm Paris Hilton's friend. Oh, I think I'm so cute. I'm always getting kidnapped. I'm four-foot-six so my head's at the perfect level, right guys?
Lagerfeld. Still you live. That's it. Get him Bobo!!!!
Lagerfeld:
Crabbie: Live through that bloodsucking night-dweller!
Poshy:
Crabbie: God, what a whore. She makes me sick. Hey Lagerfeld, what do you think about that?
Lagerfeld:
Crabbie: Why won't you die? Nooooooo!!!!