Us Weekly is reporting that actress Natalie Portman has been shacking up with comedian and SNL cast-member Andy Samberg. I'm not exactly sure why this is news, except for the fact that Samberg used to have sex with Kiki Dunst, and for some reason it always makes me sad when I see some other woman doing it with one of Kiki's old boyfriends. I mean, someone who would have the poor taste to actually penetrate Kiki - is that anyone an intelligent, beautiful woman like Natalie Portman should stoop to having sex with? Natalie used to fuck Gael Garcia Bernal for God's sake - a man who causes Crabbie to wake up in the middle of the night bathed in sweat and whimpering like the victim of a hillbilly gang-rape. And she's gone from that to some kinky-haired former fuck-buddy of Kiki Dunst's? I hope you make Andy wear protection Natalie. And I hope, for your sake, that Andy's fling with Kiki was the result of some temporary insanity, or a protracted acid-trip. Cause, if he screwed Kiki while in his right mind - well, then I sort of fear for you Natalie.
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