Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are officially no longer broken up. I think. Anyway, witnesses told US Weekly that they spent the weekend holed up in Jessica's room at the SoHo Grand Hotel in New York. Presumably they were having sex. Or maybe they were doing arts and crafts. I don't know. Frankly, I was hoping they'd stay broken up. I wanted Jessica to get a more interesting boyfriend, like Johnny Knoxville or a UPS man. Just the sight of Mayer now makes my brain shut off. Sort of like what happens to him whenever he sees Jessica's boobs coming toward him.
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