The Los Angeles Sheriff's Department has put an end to speculation that Paris Hilton could be processed and released from jail in less than 24 hours by announcing their intention to make her serve a minimum of 23 days. Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore says the decision was "reached after an evaluation of all factors, including the judge's written orders, the nature of her offense, and her lack of a criminal history," and reassures everyone that they will treat Paris "as we would any other."
Meanwhile, Paris's lawyers, though they've already filed a notice of appeal, are still in the process of putting together their final argument. If we lived in a perfect world ruled by a benevolent God, the lawyers would pull a Paris by neglecting to file the final appeal, probably because they were high, then blame the whole thing on Elliot Mintz. But we don't.
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