What sort of bizarre impression is Angelina Jolie leaving on the people of Prague? The actress, as you know, is in the historic Czech city filming a Hollywood thriller called Wanted. It has in many ways been an eventful visit for Jolie, who at one point early on called the city the most horrible on earth, declaring it "even worse than Africa." This because the paparazzi there had taken some pictures of her adopted children, causing her to have a fit and lock herself in a bathroom. This is not the image she normally projects - typically we think of Angelina as a serene presence, almost saintly, the way she ministers to the sick and displaced people of the world, and occasionally picks one out to take home with her. But we mustn't forget that Angelina was a Hollywood star before she was the savior of the earth, and that an actress of her talent is more than capable of projecting serenity if it's called for. Indeed, at times Angelina seems little more than a performer who has decided to make all the world literally her stage, and all the world's orphans her fellow protagonists in an on-going drama, Angelina Saves the World.
Is she deluded or merely a brilliant self-promoter - what Paris Hilton would be if she had any honest ambition or brains? The people of Prague might be forgiven if they chose the former. At the very least the Praguians must suspect Angelina of having peculiar habits. I bring this up because of an article in the Daily Mail detailing one particular habit of Angelina's that has got people over there talking. The actress, it seems, has herself driven around in a big black SUV, which tends to careen at rather high speeds along the streets (important people can't be bothered to worry about public safety). Every morning Angelina rides with her adopted Cambodian son Maddox to the English-language school she has enrolled him in, so his education won't lapse during their stay in the city. Along the route from the hotel to the school, the SUV is seen to frequently stop, the window roll down and an arm poke out (which the Daily Mail compares to the spindly upper extremities of E.T.). A finger points - inevitably at some individual innocently going about their business on the sidewalk. Witnesses to this daily ritual say the pointee is invariably a person of black or Asian descent - a "person of color" to use that rather sickly, demeaning appellation. The arm quickly retracts, it is said, and the window winds up, and the SUV continues on its urgent, oblivious way.
So why, exactly, is Angelina Jolie going around Prague pointing at black and Asian people? According to the inevitable "sources close to the star," Angelina is in fact thinking of adopting again (shock of shocks), and the pointing business is actually part of her process. It's a little like choosing a shade of paint for one's living room - first you look at samples, and discuss the selection of hues with whoever else is involved in the decision. In this case the pedestrians of Prague are the paint-samples, and Maddox is the concerned party whose council Angelina is asking. Put in simple terms - Angelina Jolie is driving around Prague pointing "people of color" out to Maddox and asking him what he thinks of the shade. This because Angelina has become consumed with the notion that her "ethnic" children must have counterparts in the family who resemble them. And not only in general racial terms - no, it's not enough for Angelina to match Maddox up with another Asian (Pax), and African daughter Zahara with another yet-to-be-selected African. Angelina must get the skin tones right - she must pick a color that exactly matches.
It is creepy enough on the surface, but then you get to really think about it, and it develops layers of creepiness that make Angelina kissing her brother on television seem as innocent as apple pie and freckly-faced toddlers. What, one asks oneself, is Angelina actually saying to Maddox as she points out these "ethnic" people on the street? "What do you think of that one? Is that too dark? Do you think Zahara would like a sister who was that shade? Will that one go with the drapes do you think?" And what of little Maddox, being taught that people are basically pigment-samples - that the folks he spies out his SUV window are not individual human beings at all but examples of various hues whose underlying existence is utterly irrelevant. "Look mommy, there goes an orange one." Is Maddox doomed to spend the rest of his life viewing the human race the same way a home-improvement enthusiast views a card displaying different shades of brown? And what does all this say about Angelina's view of humanity, exactly? When she travels to all these countries full of "ethnic" people, does she view them as people at all, or merely as a collection of different-colored faces whose "ethnicity" makes them prime candidates for rescue? Would Angelina, in fact, adopt a white baby at all?
Perhaps we could give Angelina some kind of exam. Question: Is a white baby who's poor and suffering the same as a black or yellow baby who's poor and suffering? Question: Is a child worthy of sympathy because of the circumstances they're born into, or because of their race? Question: Does white automatically equal privileged? Question: Are all white babies blobs? Question: What will happen if you pick a sister for Zahara who isn't "black enough?" Question: Is your compulsive need for racial balance in your own family in fact a reflection of your essential inability to see past a person's color, and is your need to act as mother-figure to all the "ethnic" children of the world an elaborate means of compensating for what you sub-consciously recognize as your own inherent racism? Question: Are you, Angelina, the epitome of the self-hating white person?
This all brings me back to one of my initial observations, the one about Angelina locking herself in the bathroom and howling about the horribleness of Prague. That sort of temper tantrum can't, I think, be chalked up to outrage over her kids being photographed. It wasn't the violation of her and her children's privacy that really bothered her - it was that the paparazzi had made her feel like she was not in control. Angelina, it's clear, is one of these colossally insecure people who feel the need to manipulate each and every aspect of their daily life, so that it conforms with some bizarre image they've concocted of the ideal existence. Angie has clearly bought into her own Mother Teresa act, and more so her loopy ideas of racial balance within the family. Wanting to select a child with the exact skin-tone to match the ones she already has is not simply the act of a twisted kind of racist, but of a veritable obsessive-compulsive. Angelina apparently takes control-freak to new heights. And when those paps started taking those pictures - Angelina felt her control slipping away and she flipped. This is what happens to people like Angie when they butt up against a reality that refuses to bend to their will. But, the racial make-up of her family is something she can manipulate - and how comforting must it be to her to know that, however antagonistic the outside world may become, she always has her little family life to retreat to, where she makes the rules, and even decides how dark or light the faces will be that she gets to look at every day. This gives us new insight, I think, into why Angelina was so averse to having a biological child. When you have a baby the old-fashioned way things are left a little too much to chance. What if the kid comes out deformed, or ugly, or too light or too dark? It's much safer to adopt kids, because then you get to look them over before you choose, and compare them to the walking pigment-samples.
I hope the people of Prague realize what a wonderful privilege it is to be part of Angelina's insanity.
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