Blackface Never Fails

This had to be one of the top 10 laughs ever on Mad Men. Even better than when Pete came back from vacation and found a Chinaman in his office. Even better than when Betty caught Sally smoking.

Why are all my Mad Men top laughs horribly inappropriate?

Blanket Baby Daddy

Macaulay Culkin is denying tabloid reports that his sperm was donated to create Michael Jackson's youngest son Blanket.

"The inquiries are too preposterous for us to even acknowledge," Culkin's reps said in response to media requests.

Okay, so Macaulay's sperm wasn't responsible for Blanket - as far as he knows. But isn't it possible that Michael gathered a sample of Macaulay's stuff without him knowing it?

Let's say Michael had Macaulay over for one of their little slumber parties. Slipped him some extra-potent Jesus Juice. Used some kind of extraction gear normally reserved for zoo animals. Mac wakes up, a little hungover but completely oblivious to the outrage perpetrated against him.

Can you prove it didn't happen?

They Should've Stopped Pissing Off God

I'm pretty sure the gigantic Station Fire, which even as we speak is endangering communications towers on top of Mount Wilson, is the result of God's anger at all the decadence and evil of Los Angeles residents, especially the ones who work in the entertainment industry.

They had their chance to stop pissing off God, but no, they went on producing their pornography. Well they better get their act together quick and find someone to sacrifice and appease the Almighty. I nominate Miley Cyrus. Demi Lovato will do if they can't find Miley in time.

Pat Robertson Saved By Science

Pat Robertson is recovering after undergoing a 10 hour procedure to repair an atrial fibrillation.

The experimental surgery, called a convergent procedure, involved using radio waves to generate heat for cauterizing the upper part of the heart muscle, relieving the fibrillation. The surgery is seen as less invasive than traditional heart surgery.

After spending 10 hours in the care of highly-skilled surgeons and their amazing scientific tools, Robertson released the following statement:

"Only the prayers of thousands of believing people kept me on this earth."

On behalf of rational human beings everywhere, allow me to invite Pat Robertson to go fuck himself and his heart.

Fitness Freaks

I guess Tom got sick of people calling him a fat-ass. He didn't want to end up like his buddy John Travolta, a big bald pasty tudball.

Note that Katie is running even with him in this picture. She always goes easy on him when the cameras are around. Those little stubby legs make it hard for him to keep up.

Selective Memory

Chris Brown told Larry King that he doesn't remember beating Rihanna. He's like me when I slam an entire giant pan of fudge and afterward I say I can't remember it when in fact I really remember it but I'm just ashamed to admit that I did it. Only difference is, when I destroy fudge, it's only fudge I'm destroying, not some ho's face.

You think Larry King ever gets sick of being lied to? Nah, what does he care. As long as the money keeps rolling in and the Viagra keeps working.

Follow Crabbie on Twitter.

Not Bad For 110

I was going to make an old joke about Regis Philbin but - I'm not lying - when I just sat down after getting my coffee, my right knee suddenly exploded with pain.

Damn you Regis and your Catholic god. Now I have to take some aspirin and lie down.

Are those freckles or were you just spraypainting?

The xx - Basic Space

Dig the Interpol guitar sound.

Do They Have A Course In Angelinology?

Radar Online says Nadya Suleman aka Octomom was spotted checking out colleges, an indication that she means to follow through on her plan to go to school and get a job that will allow her to support her 14 kids.

Her past stripper experience will come in handy as she endeavors to pay for her education.

In recent interviews, Ms. Suleman has expressed regret over her decision to take fertility treatments and give birth to 8 kids, in addition to the 6 she already had. In her defense, she had no way of knowing the economy was going to tank, taking all those great reality show opportunities with it.

She could always become a Mormon.

My Name Is Jon, And I'll Be Your Douchebag For The Evening

Jon Gosselin hosted a pool party in Vegas. Skanks. Drugs. Chlorine. Gambling. No Kate. No kids.

Perfect.

The World Is Down One DJ AM

The only story this weekend is the death of DJ AM via apparent drug overdose. The famous DJ, real name Adam Goldstein, was found less alive than usual, in his apartment, surrounded by pill bottles and crack pipes. Sherlock Holmes' services will not be required.

Mary-Kate Olsen had nothing to do with the death, as far as we know.

Here's a picture of Rihanna reacting to the news as she walked out of a performance of The Lion King.


This is the most upset Rihanna has been since Chris Brown beat the piss out of her.

According to people who may or may not know, DJ AM was distraught over a recent break-up with his girlfriend. It's also possible he was still suffering the psychological after-effects of that plane crash that nearly killed him and that dickhead Travis Barker.

Speaking of Barker: according to TMZ, DJ AM's death has caused the drummer and his on-again/off-again Shanna Moakler to stop sniping at each other on Twitter. So he did not die in vain.

In Case You Were Wondering

The Brood is in France, doing fun family things like shopping for gerbils. Brad wears a disguise when he goes into the pet store and looks at the gerbils. They know him too well there.

Has Angie ever heard of summer colors? Black black black black. So predictable.

Daniel Craig Becomes Perfect

Daniel Craig's facial hair for his role in the play A Steady Rain: perfect.

Question: How much sex do Daniel and Hugh Jackman have in this play? Question: When will the movie of this be coming out? Question: Am I in heaven?

K-Ho

Kim Kardashian is trying to turn herself into Jennifer Lopez. Unfortunately, there's more to J-Lo than just the ass. Believe it or not, Lopez actually possesses a modicum of talent. She doesn't really use it for anything nowadays, but anyone who saw Blood & Wine or Out of Sight knows it's there.

I guess being a no-talent knock-off of J-Lo is enough for Kim. Otherwise she'd at least take singing and acting lessons. But why bother when you can get by as a reality TV/sex tape whore? The standards for fame keep dropping.

Serial Killer Waiting To Happen

I'm offering a bounty to whoever can find a picture of one of Denise Richards' kids looking happy. And I don't mean just smiling, because smiling doesn't necessarily equal happy. I mean genuinely happy.

No, this is not a monetary deal. Find the picture and I'll think well of you. That's about it. Actually, forget the picture. I don't really care.

Rachael Ray Works With The Mentally Disabled

I basically hate Rachael Ray, but I'm willing to put that aside and give due credit: It's lovely that she takes time out from her busy schedule to play tennis in the street with the mentally handicapped.

Maybe she's not entirely satanic after all.

Father Of The Year

Hey there Marky, I'm pretty sure that's not the proper way to carry a baby. Do you want her to snap her little spine? Do you want any passing pack of hungry wolves to be able to snatch her?

This is even worse than the time Russell Crowe kicked his kid in the face.

Beach Bum

I want David Beckham to play with my balls on the beach. Is that guy behind him in a trance?

Douches & Hos

Crazy times at some joint called Guys & Dolls in Hollywood. TMZ says Brody Jenner got tasered after getting in a brawl with that piece of shit loser ex-convict Joe Francis. Jenner says the fight started because Francis was harassing his woman Jayde Nicole (who looks like a tranny doing a bad Megan Fox impersonation), and Jayde threw a drink on him, and Francis responded by dragging her to the floor by her hair and kicking her.

Joe Francis doesn't say anything because his ass is hiding out in Mexico.

Brody says he doesn't know who tasered him, but my money is on Francis. That's exactly the kind of candy ass thing Francis would do.

So gangsta, Joe Francis - tasering Brody Jenner because you're afraid he's going to punch your face in. God I hope that was some kind of probation violation for Francis. The thought of him being ass-raped in prison makes me tingly all over.

Not To Be Mean, But...

Remember the good old days when you used to have to be attractive to be a "model?" What happened to those days?

Yeah, I know, it's mean to speak ill of the dead. Especially when they were murdered, mutilated and stuffed in a suitcase. But, I'm sorry, the subject had to be raised. I keep seeing the late Jasmine Fiore characterized as a model, and then I see pictures like this, and I'm like, "Wow, the standards for models have really dropped since Cheryl Tiegs."

They photoshopped the shit out of Jasmine's face there and she still looks like a dog's asshole. But, as long as there are men with cameras who want to get laid, there will be ugly women who think they are models.

Apocalypse Porn

The monkeys should eat this up. The ones who already think the world is coming to an end. The nutters and the town hall screamers and the Left Behind drones and the Palin supporters. Rational people will see it for the ham-handed nonsense it is.

Gotta admit, the crumbling Jesus is pretty awesome. And the aircraft carrier rolling over the White House.

It's Okay, It Wasn't His Patting Himself On The Back Hand

George Clooney needs to be more careful around vehicles. Approximately two years after injuring himself and his now-ex-girlfriend The Stripper Whose Name Escapes Me in a motorcycle crash, Clooney's reps say the actor has broken his hand slamming it in a car door.

Believe it or not, there is actually some controversy swirling around this story. The hand was apparently broken a couple of weeks ago in Europe, and the media over there reported that Clooney did it while riding his Harley.

This story is being denied. Evidently, Clooney's people think it would be bad for George's image if folks think he didn't learn his lesson from the first motorcycle mishap.

Actually, telling us he broke his hand in a car door is way more disturbing than telling us he did it falling off his motorcycle. Cause who the fuck slams their hand in a car door and breaks it? Besides retards?

Screw Holding Your Hand. I Wanna Play Tonsil Hockey With You In Public.

Paul McCartney makes out with his two-legged girlfriend Nancy Shevell in front of the beer-swilling masses at some sporting event. They seem happy. Hopefully this one won't turn out to be a soul-sucking sea hag.

Turning On One Of His Own

John McCain wanted peace and harmony at his health care town hall meeting Wednesday. One woman had a different idea and began shouting in the familiar nutter way.

McCain gave the woman a chance to simmer down, warning her she would have to leave if she didn't. The woman refused to simmer and McCain had security escort her out.

"Goodbye, see ya," McCain quipped as the woman was dragged away. The crowd applauded.

McCain understands what the right-wing agitators have known all along: Get people shouting and they will keep shouting, even if they don't know why they're shouting. It just becomes a behavior pattern. And then, with everyone shouting, well-reasoned, thoughtful, worthwhile arguments get drowned out.

McCain, at least, still wants a civilized discussion. Not so the insurance companies and the talk radio shitstormtroopers on their payroll.

Random Gross-Out O' The Day

Hard to imagine anything more disgusting than the sight of Larry King and LaToya Jackson expressing an unwholesome affection for one another in public. Actually, pretty much anything Larry- or LaToya-related falls generally under the heading of Shit That Makes Me Lose My Lunch.

The Bummery Life Of The Gosselin Kids

Remember when it was the first day of school and your mom would take a picture of you in your new school clothes and get all emotional and you thought she was an asshole and you were embarrassed to share her genes? Well, the Gosselin kids get that, except it's a shitload of paparazzi. The paps are all yelling, "You look so cuuuuuuuute." And you wish you had a flamethrower just then.

Look Who's Still Crazy

Anne Heche is still crazy and still running around talking shit and causing problems. The occasional target for extra-terrestrial hijinks appeared on Letterman last night and called her ex-husband a lazy-ass, and now her ex-husband is sniping at her in the press.

"After coming home from showing two different clients two different condominiums, I was disturbed to see Anne taking out her personal frustration on the father of her child on national television," said Coley Laffoon, a real estate man

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic here Coley, but you did marry Anne Heche. Did you expect things to turn out well?

Someone Found Their Running Mate

Looking for right-wing hate speech and daily incoherent babbling? Sarah Palin recommends Glenn Beck.

"FOX News' Glenn Beck is doing an extraordinary job this week walking America behind the scenes of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and outlining who is actually running the White House," Palin told her supporters on Facebook.

"Monday night he asked us to invite one friend to watch; tonight I invite all my friends to watch."

Glenn doesn't need viewers right now, he needs sponsors. Cause they've been abandoning him like the proverbial rats fleeing the sinking ship.

Maybe Sarah could hook him up with some fine Alaska companies. Caribou Skins 'r Us. Seal Blubber City. Wolf Murderers Ltd.

And how could Glenn repay Sarah's kindness? By agreeing to be her running mate in 2010.

Palin/Beck '10. Cause making sense is overrated.

Gerard Butler's Dog Assaulted

A harrowing experience for noted movie actor Gerard Butler. The 300 star was walking his pug through Central Park when out of nowhere the pooch was attacked by a Greyhound. The pug received two bites before Gerard was able to get it away.

According to reports, the woman with the Greyhound followed Gerard, leading to a third attempted attack, which Gerard thwarted by pushing the Greyhound away.

The idiot Greyhound owner then tried to accuse Gerard of animal cruelty for touching her Greyhound. The cops dismissed the woman's story however. The pug spent three hours at the vet and will be fine.

I'm following up on a rumor that Jennifer Aniston witnessed the whole thing from the bushes she was hiding in.

Must-Miss TV

Producers of The View have made the unfortunate choice of granting Kate Gosselin a coveted guest-hosting position during Elisabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave.

Gosselin will perform fill-in gabbing duties on September 14 and 15. So, mark your calendar. Then burn it.

Speaking of burning things: is Kate planning on getting a new hair style, or is she going with the roadkill?

The View has also tabbed the heinous Meghan McCain, something called E.D. Hill and - not making this up - LaToya Jackson as guest hosts. Or, I guess that should be hostesses. Or hos.

Yes, You Need A License To Drive

Fall Out Boy lead singer Patrick Stump was arrested in Hollywood last night on a warrant for driving without a license.

Raise your hand if you also thought Pete Wentz was actually the lead singer of Fall Out Boy.

You learn something every day. Also: Why can't these idiots learn that if you want to drive, you're supposed to have a license? And what the fuck kind of name is Patrick Stump?

Kennedy Kaput

Ted Kennedy has moved on to the great beyond. Brain cancer. Not kidney failure or sex-related heart attack, the two top selections in the "How Will Ted Kennedy Die?" list I put together back in 1986.

Now Ted is reunited with his old flame Mary Jo Kopechne. How'd you like to be a fly on the wall for that happy event? Remember that Mitch Albom book the Five People You Meet in Heaven? This would be The One Person You'd Like to Avoid for Eternity if at All Possible.

You have to give Ted credit for this though: he lived longer than the average Kennedy. Had form held, Ted would've never gotten out of the car either. Until after they hauled him out, all bloated and fish-nibbled.

Jessica Biel Is Destroying The Internet

According to internet security experts, Jessica Biel is the celebrity most favored by virus-spreaders seeking to hijack searches. A new report says a full one out of five Biel searches leads the innocent Googler to a site that propagates malware.

It's just like I've always though: Jessica Biel is ruining the internet. Nay, the world.

Experts say Beyonce, Jennifer Aniston, Tom Brady and Jessica Simpson are the other most-favored celebs by hackers and other web troublemakers. Conspicuous by her absence on this list is Angelina Jolie. Which leads me to believe that Angelina is in charge of the hackers.

What's He Trying To Tell Us?

Who's lying about you Jon? The media? Kate? The other Kate? Hailey? Everyone?

Camo shorts?

Jon's in full "please just leave me alone" mode now. He even says he no longer wants to appear on the TV show. He says he wishes he had a 9 to 5 job.

Dear Jon: People who want 9 to 5 jobs don't sit there wishing they had a 9 to 5 job. They go get themselves a 9 to 5 job. And how long do you think you'd last? Would you even make it to 5?

"Fucking shit, I have to stay here another six hours? I wonder if the bitch will take me back."

Mickey Rooney Lives, Doesn't Care About Twitter

Can't decide if this video of Ben Stiller explaining Twitter to Mickey Rooney is really funny or not funny or a little funny. Most things with Ben Stiller end up falling into the "a little funny" category. I haven't laughed at Mickey Rooney since he wore that stupid hat in The Bridges of Toko-Ri.

More Stuff Jen Wishes Gerard Would Do To Her In Real Life

Jennifer dreams of Gerard Butler taking her home in handcuffs and having his way with her while she is totally helpless. Unless Gerard isn't famous enough for her.

Aw, Hims Has A Girlfwiend

LaBoof has been fucking Carey Mulligan, the British actress with whom he is starring in the new Wall Street sequel, cleverly named Wall Street 2.

She's cute. She's got big early Oscar buzz for her performance in An Education. She seems like a serious sort. She's not some skanky ho like Megan Fox. And, most importantly, she doesn't mind mangled fingers on a dude.

Way to go LaBoof. Try not to accidentally kill her.

For God's Sake, Help Him Kate

Kate Hudson needs to sit Alex Rodriguez down and talk to him about his fashion choices. "We never, ever take our sweatshirt off and tie it around our waist. Ever."

Wait, is that Ryder? Holy shit did she cut his hair finally? Maybe A-Rod's a good influence after all.

So That's Why Antonio Banderas Has Been Smiling So Much

The remains of Melanie Griffith have checked themselves into rehab. Do people go into rehab for Botox abuse?

A rep says Griffith entered Cirque Lodge in Utah - same place Lindsay Lohan went; did wonders for her as you know - as part of a health plan conceived years ago by her and her doctors. Ooh, that's way better than the usual "she just needed some time off" excuse. Points for creativity, Melanie.

Who's Shocked By This?

You might want to put down your powdered doughnut for this one, cause it's a shocker. Okay, take a deep breath, get ready for it:

A friend of Jennifer Aniston has revealed that the actress has no interest in dating "normal men" and only fucks guys she thinks will keep her on the front page of the tabloids.

"She goes after the hottest thing of the moment," the snitch revealed, "what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight."

Hence her pursuit of Bradley Cooper, before Bradley brushed her off in favor of Renee Zellweger. Hence the relationship with John Mayer. Hence her embarrassing fawning over Gerard Butler. Hence pretty much everything she'd had in her life for the last couple of decades, including Brad Pitt.

Just when you thought Aniston couldn't get anymore pitiful...

Not Okay

Mischa Barton is jealous of Helena Bonham Carter's cottage cheese thighs. Cottage cheese? Try turkey wattle.

Isn't She Supposed To Be Pissed?

I'm confused. Isn't Julia Roberts supposed to turn into an insane, spitting Gorgon-like creature every time you point a camera at her? Why's she smiling then?

I think the pod people got her.

Ms. Depression

"Don't do it Jen! You have so much to live for! You have your...spider plant! Think about the spider plant! And remember, you were finally going to get around to answering your emails? And you wouldn't want to die without finding out how Lost ends, would you?"

Focus

"Come on Matthew, hold it in. Just a couple more blocks. Then you can let that sucker loose. Come on sphincter, just stay tight. Few more....oh shit."

Alien Vampire Baby

Not sure how Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale managed to be progenitive of an alien vampire baby. I guess one of them must be an alien vampire. Or one is an alien and the other is a vampire.

Rare Miley Sighting

It's Miley Cyrus, and she's not doing anything skanky, rude, inappropriate or destructive to the social fabric. She must not have been feeling herself.

Ryan Jenkins Escapes The Law

Suspected reality TV murderer Ryan Jenkins has escaped the law...by killing himself.

Mounties say Jenkins, who was being sought for the murder of his model wife Jasmine Fiore, was found at room temperature in a motel in some town in British Columbia. The death is being firmly characterized as a suicide.

Jenkins had been on the run since Fiore's body was discovered in a dumpster, sans teeth and fingers. Identification was done via the serial numbers on Fiore's breast implants.

VH1 will be running a 24-hour Ryan Jenkins marathon now. Probably.

Mickey Rourke Is Sad And Leathery

Let's all take a moment and say a prayer for Mickey Rourke's torso. It's done for.

Nice girlie tattoos Mickey. Do you have wings on your back? Lines from Charles Bukowski down your sides?

Shoe's On The Other Foot

Someone broke into Lindsay Lohan's house, got into her safe and stole a bunch of stuff. Her daddy Michael thinks it's an inside job because the alarm was left off.

"I am not going to put up with individuals violating my family," Michael ranted. "Lindsay is a charitable, generous person that always gives. This is a personal violation and it has got to stop."

Lindsay Lohan, noted philanthropist?

Whatever. Michael's full of shit as always. And the people who robbed Lindsay? Probably people she stole from, just coming to get their shit back. Or maybe Lindsay got really wasted, didn't realize it was her house and robbed herself. Wouldn't shock me.

The Only One Who'll Hang Out With Her

Courtney Love posted pictures of herself and her pet turtle on Twitter. Note to anyone who might be looking to date Courtney Love: there's a very good chance her hair is full of turtle shit. There's also a good chance she will go crazy and blow you away with a shotgun.

Did I mention I'm also on Twitter?

Conor Oberst And The Mystic Valley Band - Spoiled

Nice hat.

80s Movies You Forgot About: Someone To Watch Over Me

One forgets that Tom Berenger used to be a big star. A big enough star to get the lead in a Ridley Scott-directed thriller co-starring Mimi Rogers as a Manhattan socialite who needs police protection after witnessing a murder.

The cops' first mistake? Assigning newly-promoted detective Berenger to watch over Mimi in her uber-posh apartment. Oh, that apartment. It's the real star of the movie. A glass-lined walk-in liquor cabinet? How much of my soul do I have to sell for one of those?

Berenger is impressed by the liquor cabinet, and even more impressed by Mimi, who slinks around the house listening to Bach. Mimi is allegedly a step up from Tom's wife, the brassy Lorraine Bracco, who doesn't slink, doesn't listen to Bach and admits her ass is starting to sag.

Ridley Scott doesn't do sex scenes, so when Berenger and Mimi finally hook up, it's all off-screen. Doesn't matter though. The apartment has more sex appeal than Tom and Mimi put together. The movie is interior decorator porn.

The plot is just about irrelevant. All we need to know is that Berenger really wants to fuck Mimi, and Mimi, despite Berenger being a rough-hewn police detective from Queens, really wants to fuck him back.

Oh, and some guy is trying to kill her. Tom is supposed to be her bodyguard, but he sucks at it. He lets her go to the john alone during some hoity-toity reception at the Guggenheim and the creepy mobster threatens her and smears her make-up. The evil guy turns himself in, and Mimi identifies him in a line-up but the cops have to let him go because Tom forgot to read him his rights.

Tom's a little distracted. Maybe it's the slinking. Maybe it's the Bach. Maybe it's the shoulder pads.

Ridley Scott finds two tones, and manages to veer successfully back and forth between them. One is silken and woozy, like The Red Shoe Diaries only not laughable. The other is close to screwball. Both are engaging. Neither depends anything on the writing which hovers on the verge of intolerable.

The screwball stuff ends up being more entertaining. Berenger at home with Bracco, and their little mouthy son. The actors play it so broad - even the kid, who has more attitude than ten Macaulay Culkins - that it almost blows the whole thing up. But the explosiveness is sometimes hilarious.

Bracco has the same nervy comic rhythm she brought to GoodFellas - times fifty. And even Berenger, a slow, simmery, boring-type actor, gets in on the shouting and the gesticulating.

It's actually a disappointment when the movie homes in on the plot. The third act is a confusing snooze. And Mimi Rogers, frankly, has the personality of a hat-rack. The movie might've been more fun if Bracco had played the slinky socialite and Rogers the ball-buster from Queens. Then at least it would make sense for Berenger to want her so bad.

Is it enough for a girl to have money, class and shiny marble floors? Doesn't fire in the belly count for anything?

Metric - Gimme Sympathy

You don't care if I blow off the celebs today, right? Fuck them.

Neko Case - This Tornado Loves You

Love Neko. Yes I know it's an oldish Letterman appearance. Fuck you.

Kicking A Dead Horse

Inglourious Basterds star Brad Pitt has savagely attacked Tom Cruise's own WWII picture Valkyrie, calling it "ridiculous."

"The second World War could still deliver more stories and films," Pitt continued, "but I believe that Quentin put a cover on that pot. With Basterds, everything than can be said to this genre has been said.

The film destroys every symbol. The work is done, end of story."

Yeah Brad, nobody will ever make another WWII movie after yours. I really hope you were kidding there. I expect Tom to be that pompous and self-important, but you?

They Should've Arrested Her

Lindsay Lohan went to a deli in New York (don't know why since we know she doesn't eat). She had one of her little absent-minded moments and left without her cell phone. She returned to retrieve the phone but the guy wouldn't give it to her unless she proved it was hers.

Lindsay, true to her nature, flipped out. And called the police.

Cops say the situation had already been resolved by the time they got there. The deli worker claims he didn't know who Lindsay was.

Of course the deli guy is lying. Everyone knows who Lindsay is. Lindsay is America's coked-up sweetheart.

The next time I lose something in a public place, I am going to call the police to come help me. We'll see how that works out.

He's Not Impressed

Michael Moore has weighed in (he never gets sick of that one I bet) on the performance of Barack Obama so far. And, shockingly, he's not as upset as Bill Maher:

"I'm still in a stupor of stunned ecstasy that Obama won," said the Commie tudball. "And I approve of most everything he's done, from apologizing to the Iranians for America overthrowing their democratically elected president in 1953 to appointing Kumar (actor Kal Penn of the "Harold and Kumar" movies) to a White House position. He is doing the best he can with the mess he inherited, and I and millions of others are counting on him never to forget that he came from the working class and that his people need him now more than ever."

Moore is less complimentary toward the Democrat-controlled Congress however:

As for the congressional Democrats, what a bunch of losers -- weak, scared, stupid. They had better get a clue pretty quick or the Dark Forces will return.

The Dark Forces never left Mike. They just needed a little vacation. That's why they told Sarah to quit her job and lie low for awhile.