Why did Lindsay Lohan slink out the backdoor of Winston's this morning after partying it up all night? Was she trying to avoid the paps? Fat chance of that, Linds. They're on you like ugly on one of Rod Stewart's kids. Still, you must've had some reason for wanting to avoid attention. Was it because you'd been drinking? You don't look too impaired in that picture. Hmm...must not have been that. So what was it then? A sudden urge for privacy? Yeah right. Lindsay Lohan fleeing attention. That would be like Ryan Seacrest running away from a gay orgy. Or Woody Harrelson refusing a big pile of drugs. No, there had to be some specific reason why Lindsay didn't want to be photographed...
Hey, wait a second - I've got it. Why Lindsay didn't want her picture taken. It wasn't because she was drunk or high or otherwise messed-up, it was because she wasn't. Holy shit, that's it - Lindsay was ashamed because she partied without getting wasted. She was afraid it would be a blow to her reputation! Oh Lindsay, you little sweetheart. You've suddenly discovered the gift of moderation, and now you're embarrassed by it. Well, I think that's just adorable. If you were here I'd pinch you on the cheek like your favorite uncle - then pick your pocket. Well, a man has to eat...
