Elliot Mintz Lives in His Own Little World

There is no lower form of life on earth than the celebrity publicist. Those poor dopes whose job it is to explain away the actions of the stupid and self-destructive. And there is no more pitiful example of the sniveling celebrity rep than Elliot Mintz, the man who handles Paris Hilton.

Being a rep for a woman like Hilton, who is capable of doing just about anything at any given moment, requires an amazing talent for bending the truth. Actually, "bending the truth" may not be the right term - "twisting the truth into intricate pretzel-like shapes that would confound even Stephen Hawking" would probably be closer. And that's Elliot's gift. The ability to take a situation where everyone knows what happened and convince them that's not really what happened.

Now you take the recent publicity free-for-all Paris and her new BFFs Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan have been indulging in for the past week. Any normal person knows that these three sluts are in league with each other for the simple purpose of garnering attention, and may even suspect that they've been paid to be seen together. But that's not what Elliot Mintz wants you to think. Elliot wants you to think that the antics of his client and her two partners in skankery represent some act of female empowerment, possibly akin to Amelia Earhart trying to fly around the world. Just listen to what this dope actually said about the apparent Britney/Paris/Lindsay alliance:

What I've observed is that we have three extraordinarily powerful women who generate a tremendous amount of attention, money and adulation and they're tired of other people trying to ride on their coattails and creating false drama.

"What I've observed." Right Elliot. You're an objective witness. This is all something that just happened to occur to you. Could you be any wormier?

"They're tired of other people trying to ride on their coattails and creating false drama." So what are they doing now? Creating their own false drama? And what was that about coattails exactly? Is that a veiled attack against us, the bloggers? If I were you, Elliot, I'd be careful about going after the blogging community. Because the way things are headed, all this "new media" is going to be the main way for people like your client to get themselves out there. So you're going to need us.

Elliot Mintz - this guy makes George Bush look like a bastion of honesty.