Friday, November 10, 2006

Lesbo Action Update: Beyonce and Eva Longoria to Tip the Velvet?


Two hot young chicks getting all lesbo in a period film would seem to be the newest fad in Hollywood.

First there was news of Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley preparing to make goo-goo eyes at each other in a flick about Dylan Thomas, now booty-shaking singer Beyonce Knowles and doey-eyed TV star Eva Longoria appear ready to team up for a little simulated muff-diving of their own in an adaptation of the "raunchy" period novel Tipping the Velvet.

"Yes it's true," confirms Ms. Longoria, "we're talking about doing that. It's such a wonderful novel, a beautiful love story."

And Beyonce chimes in thusly: "We've had Brokeback Mountain so the time is right for this divine novel to get the same treatment."

So there you go, lesbo-loving straight men. Eva Longoria and Beyonce Knowles slurping each other.

On your marks, get set, masturbate...

But hold on a second - isn't this all just a cheap way of trying to sell period films to men? I mean, straight guys - is there any other way most of you could ever be dragged away from televised sporting events to watch a bunch of people prancing around in pantaloons? Seems pretty crass to me.

Yes, you can go back to your salami slapping now. Sickos.