Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Why Jude Cut Sienna Loose (No, it Wasn't the Smelly Bed-Farts)

Hunky but troubled actor Jude Law apparently had a good reason for breaking off his relationship with mentally challenged actress Sienna Miller - he was sick and tired of all the partying.

"She was just too wild for him," says a source close to Law. "She partied too much. He is a devoted father of four children and she always wanted to go out constantly. He was just done with her."

Oh, so it's her partying that broke them up. How typical. Things go sour and of course it's all the woman's fault cause she can't keep herself together. Never mind the fact that the man is a known nanny-fucker who hasn't always looked the picture of mental stability himself.

I for one can't wait to hear Sienna's side of the story. Surely, there must've been something more than Sienna's propensity to live it up that came between them. Probably Jude was screwing the help again, or maybe Sienna just got tired of his bawling and carrying on.

Of course, there's always the chance that Jude is telling the truth. That Sienna really is an out-of-control booze-monkey and he just couldn't take it anymore.

But why is Sienna an out-of-control booze-monkey (if she actually is one)? Maybe she's just trying to deal with all the sorrow heaped on her because Jude can't keep it in his pants.

And what about poor Sloane, still in the coma after her car crash? And little Ashley who's going to have to grow up without a daddy now that the evil Miles shot him and mailed his body to South America? And that wench Victoria - when is David going to figure out that she's cheating on him? Poor David. He really loves Victoria, and she's just a total slut. Somebody really ought to poison that bitch's Cheerios.