1. Cokehead Kate Moss has been named Model of the Year by the British Fashion awards.What does it take to be named Model of the Year in Britain? Straight teeth? No hair on your back? Clean feet?
2. Rapper Snoop Dogg has been charged with one count of felony weapons possession, stemming from an incident last month at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California in which he attempted to board a plane with a collapsible police baton.Snoop was just bizzying his hizzying with the thizzying, and now the foshizzle is mozizzle with his godzizzle and the bacon sizzle with the schmizzle grizzle fizzle pizzle. Capizzle?
3. Tax cheat Wesley Snipes is attempting to work out a deal that would keep him from having to serve any time for defrauding the government to the tune of millions of dollars over several years.I've got a deal for you Wesley - how about, if the IRS promises to let you off the hook, you promise not to make anymore shitty movies?
4. Lindsay Lohan's little sister Ali has put out a Christmas album called Lohan Holiday.Lohan Holiday. Is that the kind where big sis staggers into the house at two in the morning, bombed out of her mind, and finds her skanky mother in the living room giving Santa a blow-job? And little sis comes out of her room to see what all the commotion's about and discovers mommy and big sis in a three-way with Santa, and the reindeer all sitting around smoking weed, and Mrs. Claus being fucked silly in the kitchen by daddy who just busted out of prison?
Merry Fucking Lohan Christmas.
