Michael Jackson, it's safe to say, is a man who needs a little balance in his life. I mean, when in the last forty-or-so years hasn't this guy's existence been one huge circus? Maybe for a day or two back when he was six? Otherwise it's been nothing but dancing bears and clowns on unicycles. And obviously, all that turmoil and craziness have taken their toll on Jackson's sanity.
All right, I'll say it - the guy's fucking batshit. Has been for years. And there's probably no going back for him either. Most likely, there will never come a day when Jackson suddenly emerges from some place, all normal-looking and behaving like any old average Joe. That line was crossed quite some time ago. Still, even a man as over-the-rainbow as Jackson can't be completely beyond hope. At some point, it ought to be possible to bring some semblance of order to the guy's existence. And, as a matter of fact, there is someone who thinks he knows how to bring this balance to Michael Jackson's life: his very own brother Jermaine.
It may come as a shock to you, but Jermaine Jackson is alive, and is apparently healthy. Or at least as healthy as any human being brought up by Joe Jackson possibly could be. And, Jermaine is ready to help his wayward bro Michael achieve the peace he himself has discovered in his life - by introducing Michael to Islam.
"Michael needs to become a Muslim," Jermaine told the BBC Asian Network. "I think it's a great protection for him from all the things that he's been attacked with, which are false. ... Michael has given conversion some serious thought."
Yes. I think Jermaine is right on the money. Michael definitely needs to convert to Islam as a means of shielding himself from all the attacks. Because that's what religion is really - a way of hiding from unpleasant things. Like reality, which we all know can be a bitch sometimes. The best thing for Michael would be to become sheltered from reality completely. Unlike before when he was living in his own amusement park, had llamas as pets and spent years molesting children without being prosecuted.
Jermaine, good brother that he is, also believes Michael would be better off staying out of America, and living some place like Bahrain. Because, according to Jermaine, "There's strength and protection in Bahrain. I wanted [Michael] to get out of America and just go somewhere it's peaceful and quiet and people pray five times a day which is beautiful."
Indeed, Jermaine. Praying five times a day is beautiful. In fact, if I were to convert to Islam, I think I would probably pray at least ten times a day. Because you can never pray too much. Especially when you're a very important person like Jermaine Jackson whom God (or Allah or whatever) is always happy to hear from. And, what Jermaine said about Bahrain - I totally agree with that as well. Michael would definitely be better off getting out of crazy America and living someplace quiet like the Middle East. Because nothing bad ever happens over there. It's just peace peace peace all the day long.
Wow, Michael is so lucky to have a brother like Jermaine looking out for him. And I'm sure that if Michael took up Islam, he would quickly achieve the balance he's looking for. Because Islam is all about balance. That's not a religion that fosters the slightest bit of craziness or fanaticism, or anything else that might throw Michael's equilibrium out of whack again.
