Jared Leto may be the biggest punk on the face of the earth. And I don't mean punk the way he wants me to mean it, like punk rocker (the poseur), but punk as in punk-ass bitch. Yeah, I'm saying it - Jared Leto is a punk-ass bitch (or a bitch-ass punk if you prefer). That's what I call people who pick fights with hobbits.
They're just little guys, hobbits. What kind of jerk tries to beat one up? Jared Leto, that's the kind. Last October at something called the MTVU Woodie Awards (new one by me). Frodo aka Elijah Wood is there, just chilling with his human buddies, and here comes punk-ass Leto getting all up in Frodo's face. And Frodo's all like, "What the hell man?" and Leto's like, "You totally dissed my band 30 Seconds to Mars in an interview with Blender magazine," and Frodo's like, "Dude, I'm sorry, it was nothing personal," and Leto's like, "I'm going to punch your hobbit face in" (this is all paraphrased by the way), and Frodo's like, "Where's Sam?" and Leto's like, "Sam can't help you now bitch," and that's when Gandalf totally swoops down and smites Leto with his staff. Or that was how it was told to me at least.
Jesus, what is with Jared Leto? Can this guy go ten minutes without getting in a fight with someone? He must really have a small penis. Either that or he's still trying to shake his dreamy Tiger Beat image left over from My So-Called Life. I hate to break it to Jared, but picking fights with Elijah Wood isn't going to win him much tough-guy cred. Actually, it only makes him look like a pansy. Now, if he went after someone really bad-ass, like The Rock, that would be impressive. Of course, a fight between Jared Leto and The Rock wouldn't be much of a fight. I'm sure Jared would be all feisty at the start, cause he'd be pumped full of drugs, but The Rock would only have to punch him once in the shoulder and Jared would start crying for his mommy. Hopefully The Rock would then pick him up and punt him into the next time-zone. People who pick on hobbits deserve to be launched into orbit by pro wrestlers.
