World-saver Angelina Jolie is not a very big fan of Bush. George Bush that is. The former draft-dodging cokehead failed businessman who somehow became president of the United States. You know, the Charlie McCarthy to Dick Cheney's Edgar Bergin. That Bush. Angelina doesn't like him. Says he's been bad for America. Here are Angelina's exact words on the subject:
When I travel, people feel uncomfortable when I say I'm American. They think it's suspicious that I want to do something positive for them. I think they wonder why the American people re-elected a President who is making foreign policy choices that are affecting other countries in a way that we should question.
First of all Angelina, you're not an American. You're a celebrity. Which makes you a citizen of your own little special world. So, when these people behave skeptically toward you, maybe you should just tell them you're from Hollywood. Then they'll understand. You're not part of that evil, icky country that George Bush is in charge of. You're from that place that makes billions of dollars churning out crappy movies like Tomb Raider and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You know, all those big blockbusters that the U.S. film industry, in cahoots with the American government, floods foreign markets with, often crowding out the native product, and hampering the efforts of film industries in places like South Korea. But that's got nothing to do with what you're saying, of course. What you're saying is that George Bush is an imperialist masquerading as a spreader of Democracy. I hate to break the news to you Angie hon, but that's been our policy since Thomas Jefferson sent the Marines after the Barbary Pirates. We've always paid lip service to our Democratic ideals while actually looking to protect our own interests abroad. Why do you think we supported the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia? George Bush's problem isn't that his foreign policy reflects the interests of big business at the expense of human rights, it's that his execution of said policy has been dunderheaded and foolish and impractical. I'm sure that, if you were president Angelina, things would be different.
Hey, there's an idea. Angelina Jolie for president. Why not? If Hillary Clinton can run. Of course, in politics you have to be fairly clean. I mean, Gary Hart had to give up his own presidential bid, and he only got caught messing around with one chick. What would happen if every sordid detail of Angelina's past started coming out in the press? Chris Matthews would have to do a three-part special just to get through the men. Then they'd start on the women. Which wouldn't go over too well with the religious right. The frat-boy vote, however, would be all sewn up. Hell, there would probably be record frat-boy turnout. Assuming they could stay sober long enough to get to the polling-place.
