Sunday, January 28, 2007

Paris Hilton Suing To Stop ParisExposed


Maybe Paris Hilton has a sense of shame after all. Or maybe she's just mad that she isn't able to share in the profit being made off her name and skankitude. Whatever the case, Paris is pursuing legal action against the operator of ParisExposed.com, a website currently displaying a collection of personal items, including naughty pictures and videos, seized from a storage locker she neglected to pay the fee on. And Paris isn't alone in her outrage either. Joe Francis, the man responsible for Girls Gone Wild, is joining Paris in seeking a restraining order against ParisExposed owner Bardia Persa. Francis, who dated Paris for a time, appears in some of the videos, which feature Paris making like one of the skanks Francis regularly features in his Girls Gone Wild presentations.

"We're pissed and I feel for Paris right now," Francis told the New York Post. "She's been victimized yet again."

Oh, so that's what this is all about. Paris's victimization. You're a great friend to her Joe, being pissed on her behalf and all.

But wait, what was that other thing you said to the New York Post?

"We want this thing down and we're seeking monetary damages ... They were taken for us only when we were dating. ... These guys have absolutely no right to use the images - they flat-out put them on the Web with no permission. He messed with the wrong person."

Monetary damages. For what? The blow to your reputation, Joe? Because you've been such an upstanding citizen. You never did anything like, say, use underaged girls in your idiotic videos. No, you deserve damages, Joe. You and Paris both. Because this is going to severely cripple your ability to sell more smut. And her whole life has clearly been ruined by all this negative publicity. Why, before these videos surfaced, Paris was regarded as the most wholesome young woman on earth. And now look at her. Exposed as a harlot before the eyes of the world. Doomed forever to wear the scarlet letter upon her chest.

Joe Francis needs to die. Painfully. Or at the very least he needs to have his vocal cords torn out. "He messed with the wrong person." What an arrogant, slimeball thing to say. I'm Joe Francis and you can't mess with me. Why? Because you film drunken 19-year-old sluts lifting their shirts? You think that makes you something special? You're an asshole. The only reason you make a living is because we live in a culture where all the standards have been flushed down the toilet. And please, quit the fake indignation. You're pissed and you feel for Paris. Give me a break. I doubt you're capable of feeling anything for another human being. No, the only emotion you're really able to experience is the elation of gypping another bunch of dipshit frat-boys out of the money they earn selling pot. Go sit down and shut up.

And as for Paris - I'm sorry honey, but you deserve this. You're a grade-A twit in the first place, who if she didn't have people to take care of things for her would probably wind up in the fetal position, covered in her own filth and crying for her mother. And those people let you down didn't they? Whoever was supposed to pay for the storage locker didn't do it. Lesson Paris - take care of your own shit. Don't lay around on your lazy, pothead ass all day expecting other people to handle your business. Handle it yourself, you stupid bitch. And please, in the name of god, stop pretending to be embarrassed when things like this happen. We know you're not capable of experiencing embarrassment. Because all you care about is attention. You don't care what form it takes. It could be derision, ridicule or outright scorn - as long as they're pointing cameras at you, you're happy. You pathetic droopy-eyed freak.

Hilton and Francis are so transparent. All they want out of this is money. They both know perfectly well that this whole thing isn't going to damage them one little bit. They're just cheesed they didn't think to release the stuff first.