Madonna and Angelina Jolie have made adopting babies a new fad among celebs. And the next to jump on the baby-grabbing bandwagon? Possibly Britney Spears.
No, I'm not shitting you - Britney Spears really wants to adopt a baby. According to the story, Britney fell in love with this little Bali tsunami-orphan named Wang (too perfect) after she saw him on TV, and became his sponsor. Now she's thinking about making Wang her adopted son, and has even gone so far as to ask Madonna her advice on the matter.
A source for Britney says she is very serious about adopting little Wang (little Wang - heh), but I personally would tend to doubt this. I mean, how serious can she really be about adoption when every time you see her she's bombed out of her mind, with puke all down the front of her clothes? Doesn't she know that people are watching her behavior? And of course I don't even have to mention Britney's various run-ins with the authorities over highly-publicized instances of child endangerment. I mean, my God, little Sean Preston must've been dropped on his head at least five times this year alone. The kid's taken so many blows to the skull that he talks like Anna Nicole Smith, and he hasn't even started doing drugs yet (mommy told him he has to wait until he's six).
My advice for Britney would be to forget about this loopy scheme of hers and concentrate on walking. That's hard enough. Then when she gets that down, she can move on to basic child-rearing skills, like not holding the baby upside down, not giving him slugs of whiskey to get him to sleep, and not teaching him to hold her hair while she vomits. Only after she's mastered these things should she revisit the adoption scheme. Of course, by then she'll be seventy, but what the hell? At least she won't have to worry about changing little Wang's diapers (and of course he won't be a little Wang anymore, which is good, because big Wangs are always better than little ones).
