Lindsay Lohan claims that she's been going to AA meetings for a year now, and the reason she's never said anything about it is because "it's nobody's business."
Lindsay Lohan being secretive and private. That's a new one.
And another new one is this "There's more to life than partying" line Lindsay's been trying on for size. From an interview with People magazine:
“I was off from work," Lindsay says by way of explaining her partying. "I was getting ready to start a film, and I was like going out just to get it out of my system. I was going out too much and I knew that, and I have more to live for than that.”
Wow. An amazing admission from Lindsay. What could be next? A claim that what she really wants is to be appreciated for her work and not her nocturnal activities?
“I was like, ‘I don’t want to be written about at these clubs with these people. I work, I act, I have a living. That’s what I do every day. I work every single day.”
You work every single day? Gosh. I didn't know being a lying two-faced filthy crotch-baring skank qualified as a job. What kind of benefits do you get with that anyway? Is there a dental plan? I mean, besides having your mouth washed out with jizz twice a night.
All right. Let's see how fucking nasty we can be.
Lindsay says she's been going to AA for a year. She also says she has a pet unicorn named Rusty that she rides through the hills. And that Paris Hilton is the finest person she's ever met. And that she's been taking writing classes at night and is really into Proust.
I've got a suggestion Lindsay. Why don't you call Nicole Richie and say you want to go for a drive. Make sure you get her nice and drugged up. And then blindfold the bitch. And oh, make sure you have one of those "Do Not Resuscitate" bracelets. In fact, why don't you get it tattooed on your forehead. "Under no circumstances do I want you to bring me back to life. In fact, if I'm still a little bit alive, I want you to finish me off and take my organs. Everything except my liver, which is too toxic to be handled by humans. And I want my brain donated to science. They should get a chuckle out of it at least."
Been going to AA for a year my ass.
