Lindsay Lohan, at the tender age of 20, has already conquered the ultra-competitive world of skankotainment. So which mountain should the multi-talented former teen-queen tackle next? How about politics?
Sound insane? Why? She already has a great connection with Al Gore (some may call that stalking, but it's all semantics). And she has already garnered interest as a possible candidate from one apparently legitimate political organization, the Independence Party of New York State (they must be legitimate - they have their own website).
Frank Morano, an official within the party, is calling upon Lohan to make a bid for New York City Public Advocate, a job second-in-line only the mayor, or, if that's not to her liking, perhaps a run at the state legislature instead. Writes Morano (apparently addressing Lohan directly), "As Albany is currently a cesspool of corruption, badly in need of reform, you may also want to consider a bid for the state legislature. Many celebrities have made the transition from Hollywood to politics, ranging from Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura to Sonny Bono and Ronald Reagan. Few if any, though, had the enormous potential that you possess."
Hmm. Interesting. Lindsay Lohan for New York state legislature. Well, I guess I can see where Frank is coming from with this one. I mean, Lindsay is a very intelligent, mature young person, and you need lots of dynamic personalities like that in politics...
What the fuck am I talking about? This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life!
Frank Morano - you are either the king of irony or you are on crack. At least, I hope it's one of those two things. Because if not, well, I fear for your sanity friend.
Also, if I were a member of the Independence Party of New York State, which touts itself on its website as New York's third-largest party, I might seriously consider calling for Mr. Morano's ouster. Because if he keeps doing shit like this, the party is going to have less credibility than whatever group supported Gary Coleman during the California run-off. I mean, all right, maybe it was some kind of publicity-grab, an attempt to make a lame headline - political parties do this shit from time-to-time. But Lindsay Lohan? Couldn't you have tried suggesting someone a tad less absurd Frank? Like Mary Carey? Or Whitney Houston? Or some random bellowing insane person dragged in off the street?
And, you know, the sad thing about this is that, when Lindsay gets wind of it, she's actually going to think about doing it. Because that's how the brain of one of these twats works. Everything that pops into it, at least for a short time, sounds like a good idea. That's how they end up in so much trouble. It takes them at least four days to figure out how stupid something is, but by that time, it's often too late - they've already had sex with Brandon Davis, or gotten an anchor tattooed on their ass, or written a rambling, nonsensical e-mail expressing their condolences on the death of a legendary film director. This is what separates the Lohans of the world from the normal people - we know almost right away when something is dumb (which doesn't always stop us from doing it, but at least we don't have any illusions about the silly shit we're about to get into), while the Lohans, addled and egomaniacal, assume that, if it's their brain thinking it, then it has to be brilliant.
Of course, on the other hand, if a chimpanzee can be president...
