It's a question we've all been asking for the past couple of days - what, oh what, could've broken up America's Sweethearts Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese? Was it really just his uncommunicativeness, or was there some other, more sinister force at work? Like Satan perhaps. You know, maybe Lucifer was jealous that Dita took his boyfriend away, and laid some kind of curse on them (an even worse one than that mug Marilyn got saddled with).
Well, it turns out that there was a sinister force at work - one more powerful even than the devil. And who or what could possibly have exerted more of an evil influence on Marilyn and Dita's relationship than the Fallen One himself? Yup, you guessed it - Lindsay Lohan.
No kids, Crabbie ain't making this one up - Lindsay Lohan is the reason Dita Von Teese walked out on Marilyn Manson. At least according to one of Dita's friends, who spoke about the subject to the Sun:
"[Dita] just had enough of [Marilyn's] wild partying," says the friend. "Lindsay Lohan was ringing up the house wanting to come round and party with him. The phone would go all through the night, with people constantly turning up to hang out. Dita wants a quieter life and to have a baby. She told Manson to sort himself out or she was leaving. ... Unfortunately, nothing changed and he didn't clean up his act."
Lindsay Lohan ringing your house at all hours wanting to party - now that's some scary shit. Gonna take some strong voodoo to keep that evil spirit from breaking up your happy home. Maybe Dita should've called Paris Hilton and asked to use one of her spells. Like the one that makes Lindsay fall down and break parts of her anatomy, or the one that causes her to have asthma attacks, or the new one that inflames her appendix.
Of course, even if you get rid of the evil Lindsay, you're still married to Marilyn Manson, who is a complete over-the-rainbow freak. And a paranoid drug-addict, according to Dita's friend:
"[Manson] became paranoid as a result of the drugs he was taking. At one stage he thought the cleaner was trying to kill him."
No Marilyn, the cleaner's not trying to kill you. The mailman, however...
