The Rodeo Drive Walk-of-Style Awards took place last night in Beverly Hills. Damn, Anna Nicole just died - don't those people have any shame? Oh, I guess they didn't care. All right then...
Paris Hilton - she looks fairly decent here I guess (for a homophobic racist). At least she's color-coordinated. With Paris you never know what you're going to get. She could turn up wearing a Rainbow Brite t-shirt and a pair of zebra-stripe jogging pants. If you're Paris, you should just feel fortunate that your picture isn't all green and night-visiony for once.
Mischa Barton. Well, I have to give Mischa credit - she keeps trying. One of these days she may do something right. But I hope not.
Fat Tyra Banks. All right, she's not fat. She is a whining cry-baby though. "Ooh, they called me fat and I'm not fat. " As someone who's been called fat his whole life: Get over it, fatso.
Naomi Campbell in some kind of Mata Hari get-up, standing alongside...um...what the hell's her name again...oh, it's right on the tip of my tongue...wait...Stephanie Seymour? No. Um...Christy Turlington. No, that's not it. God damn it, I hate it when this happens. Let's see...supermodels who were big in the '80s...hmm...Linda Evangelista? No. Not Elle MacPherson either. It's...oh, I know. Cindy Crawford. Yeah. That's the bitch's name. Damn. She must have grandkids by now.
Speaking of people with grandkids - hey, it's Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Or as I like to call them, The Hottie and the Nottie. Aw, I kid Demi. She's still fairly attractive. For someone who lived through the Depression.
J-Ho and Mark Anthony. Smile Mark. Oh, that's right - you don't like having your picture taken. In fact, you don't really care much for fame, do you? Sort of odd that you would choose J-Ho to be your woman then. Cause that bitch can't live without the cameras on her. Look at the way she just flirts with it. Ho can't help herself. You, on the other hand, look like you're trying to pass a kidney stone.
And speaking of stones - yup, Sharon Stone. I've used up all my old-jokes for the day, so I guess I'll have to go with how bad Sharon Stone sucks. Hey, did you see she got nominated for a Razzie for Basic Instinct 2? I personally didn't see it. I kind of knew what it was going to be beforehand - one shot of her bush surrounded by two hours of dumb thriller. And, since I already saw her bush in Basic Instinct, and wasn't much impressed, I figured I'd pass. But hey, if it works, it works. And if you're Sharon Stone, what else are you going to do? It's not like you've got any acting talent to call upon.
