Official bios of singer/actress/jello-booty-child Beyonce Knowles list her as being born on September 4, 1981. But if a document unearthed by MediaTakeOut.com is correct, then Beyonce was in fact born on that date in 1974, making her 32 years old.
That loud screeching sound you hear is Jay-Z putting the brakes on this whole marrying Beyonce thing. I mean, tying the knot with some 25-year-old hottie is one thing, but a 32-year-old chick?
All right, so maybe it's not such a huge controversy. I mean, even if it is true, so what? She's 32 and not 25. That doesn't change the jelly-lishiousness of the booty does it? Of course, it does put her that much closer to the day when jelly turns to something more resembling a hunk of plastic that's been left on a radiator. But still. Beyonce's fairly young. She's got, what, two or three more good years?
Damn Beyonce. If you've got any more career ambitions, I'd hurry the hell up and get them accomplished.
