The Beckhams, Poshy and David, have decided to move to America. Somebody roll out the red carpet! And don't forget to roll them up in it when you're done, and dump them back into the Atlantic Ocean.
Honestly, if there's anything America doesn't need more of it's fake-boobed bitches with no fashion sense and vapid sporting heroes who get paid outrageous amounts of money for playing silly games in front of beer-swilling twits. Not that I don't love Poshy and Becks - of course I love them. Poshy is hilarious, with her serious faces and her hideous outfits, and Becks - well, Becks just makes Crabbie bust out of his tighty whities. But just cause I love them, that doesn't mean I want them over here. I love my country too, and it's already stupid enough as it is. Assimilating these clowns into the culture will just lower the average I.Q. even more. And think of all the poor over-worked cosmetic surgeons in L.A. Now on top of Melanie Griffith, Courtney Love and Tara Reid they have to service Poshy? I don't think the American plastic surgery industry will be able to survive the strain.
And really - why the hell are they moving here in the first place? I know, some dumb soccer team gave David a load of money, and Poshy always wanted to live in L.A. But these seem like pretty weak reasons if you ask me. Beckham could've made plenty of scratch playing his little games in Europe, and occasionally taking his clothes off for photographers. And it's not like Poshy can't just jet to L.A. whenever she feels like it. There's really no good reason for them to live here. Other than the fact that Europeans have grown tired of their act, and they figure America still has a few folks rattling around who haven't heard of them, and might find some novelty in their dumb-ass We're So Cool routine.
Poshy and Beckham - coming to a trailer park near you (other than the accents and designer labels, they will be indistinguishable from the locals).
