We had a little fun yesterday with the idea that Lindsay Lohan was responsible for driving a wedge between stripper Dita Von Teese and her schlock-rocker snookums Marilyn Manson. Turns out, however, that Lindsay was only a peripheral figure in the whole melodrama. For once, the antics of Lohan must take a backseat, while a different, less-well-publicized starlet gets her moment in the spotlight.
You may have seen Evan Rachel Wood - she's been in a couple of movies, and was even touted for an Oscar nomination a few years ago for one called Thirteen where she played a barely-teenaged tongue-pierced delinquent sex-fiend (a total fabrication that film; everyone knows 13-year-old girls are all sweet and wholesome). Well, now Evan Rachel Wood, semi-recognizable young blonde creamy-skinned actress, has made her move into the middle ring of the three-ring circus - by going out with Marilyn Manson.
Apparently Marilyn, who looks to me like elephants trampled his face at some point in his life, is considered very attractive by some women. Near-sighted ones perhaps. Or 19-year-old ones (yes, Evan is 19) who are still going through that awkward phase where they think Satanism is incredibly sexy, and a boyfriend who wants to drink your blood is the coolest thing since Barbie's Dream House. According to reports, Wood and Manson have been friends ever since Manson asked her to appear in a film he's producing called Phantasmagoria: The Visions Of Lewis Carroll (a movie about a pedophile; that's where the red-flags would've gone up for anyone who was paying attention). Wood has also reportedly posed for a watercolor painting by Manson (he took up the hobby while in the nuthouse I guess), and was present at the opening of his Halloween art gallery (snicker), The Celebritarian Corporation Gallery of Fine Art (what do they show at a Halloween art gallery - trees with toilet paper all over them?).
And what of the jilted woman in this equation, poor old Dita Von Teese? She's reported to be "heartbroken" by the revelation of Manson's new relationship. Well of course she is. She loved Manson (for some sick twisted reason), and he went and traded her in for a younger, less-worn-out model. Dita apparently thought that a Satanic love-pact was forever, but now she's found out that even devil-worshipping donkey-faced nincompoops can get itchy for some tighter snatch (who'd a thunk?). Of course, Dita can always try and do something to win Marilyn back. Like carve his initials into her forehead with a box-cutter. That's always an impressive gesture of devotion. Or maybe she could go in and have her stuff refurbished. You know, so Marilyn's tiny little peepee won't feel like it's exploring Carlsbad Caverns.
