A pair of big-time entertainment couples is making marriage news. First off, from the wacky, wonderful world of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie comes word of a "fairytale wedding" to take place shortly before Christmas in South Africa. And second, reports say that "booty and the beast," Beyonce and Jay-Z, have no plans to marry in the near future, despite rumors that the couple might be getting hitched as early as this weekend.
Crabbie can't help but wonder if the sudden cooling of the Jay-Z/Beyonce situation might not have something to do with this report, which alleges that the supposedly 25-year-old Beyonce is actually 32. If finding out that a chick is 7 years older than she claims won't put the freeze on a guy's happy-happy, nothing will.
And now to Brad and Angie, those philanthropic heavyweights. A report says that the couple plans to tie the knot before the Christmas holiday in a small village outside Johannesburg, South Africa. And why Johannesburg one wonders? Why not the little town of Bethlehem? And why not Christmas day instead of just before Christmas? Surely, if any two mortals are worthy to make sacred vows in the birthplace of Christ, on the very day set aside to celebrate his coming into the world, it's Brad and Angie.
An insider says the Brad/Angie wedding will be "a simple, elegant" affair featuring traditional African music. Another source takes a dig at Tom and Katie, saying, "[Brad and Angie] are treating their marriage like a spiritual affirmation and don't need big Hollywood glitz like Tom Cruise had in Italy."
A spiritual affirmation. In other words, this one won't be legal either. The real wedding will no doubt take place in a courthouse somewhere in L.A. at about three in the morning, Brad and Angie having greased the palms of certain local officials so the whole thing can remain hush-hush.
By the way, the guest-list for the Brad/Angie African knot-tying is said to include Oprah, Madonna and George Clooney. No word yet on whether Jon Voight will be invited, but I'm guessing no on that one.
!!!Update!!!: Reps for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say the wedding-in-Johannesburg story was all made up. Not that it makes any difference to Crabbie whether a story is true or not.
