Hopelessly freakish music producer David Gest is befuddled at the fact that people think he's gay. Said Gest:
I am straight. Bring me one man who I have ever been with because there are none. ... Can I say, once and for all, that I have never had a Judy Garland tribute room in my house - I've only seen two of her films. ... I've never felt the need to prove my sexuality. What am I supposed to do, go around telling everyone I'm straight? ... I was around 13 when I lost my virginity. All the kids around me were experimenting with sex, so I went from feeling girls to sexual intercourse as quickly as I could.
Oh, David - those poor girls.
Seriously though, David - reality's on the line, and it would like you to come home now. You don't get why people think you're gay? Really?
Nothing gay about that picture. And Jesus David - what is with your cranium? It looks like it got stuck in a bucket one time, and never popped back into shape. Your head is like a really bad Amazing Johnathan routine. "Do I look pail?" Actually David, you look like something an alien shat and then didn't bother cleaning up, and some stuff grew on it that you now call a face. God, I sincerely hope you're not gay, David - cause we don't want you. Go feel up some more thirteen-year-old girls you slobbering sideshow reject.
(source)
