What's the hottest fad among wannabe celebs? Starting Free Paris Hilton petitions on MySpace. This trend is nearly as popular as mom-pants and big-ass sunglasses - and even more insufferable. The latest meathead to jump on the bandwagon is Spencer Pratt, who, I've been informed, was on an MTV reality-show called The Hills. And now he apparently thinks he's some kind of big deal - and is throwing all that imagined clout behind his effort to get his friend Paris Hilton off the hook.
Spencer, on his MySpace page, offers us the chance to sign an online petition, which he claims he will "hand-deliver" to Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa once he gets 100,000 signatures. Says Spencer of Paris's plight:
I've always thought that the punishment should fit the crime. Paris has changed her image dramatically over the last couple years. Now she is such a good role model and a smart business woman. So it's a shame that a miscommunication between her and her people is landing her in jail. She should get probation with community service, but no way should she be put in jail with real criminals.
Here's the talking-point that's been passed around to Paris's friends: Yes, Paris did something wrong and deserves to be punished, but it isn't right that she should be thrown in jail with "real criminals." Am I the only one who perceives the strong reek of elitism, not to mention racism, in that argument? Here's what I hear when these assholes make that point: "Paris is one of us - better than you common folk. When one of us messes up, it's a "misunderstanding" or a "miscommunication." We are not "real criminals" like all those poor (black) people in the county lock-up. We shouldn't be exposed to that sordidness. Do you know how filthy those regular (black) people are? They will probably rape her or beat her up - that's what animals like that do. People like us, however, never even think of doing those things. We are rich (and white), and therefore above such behaviors."
Forgetting, of course, that Paris Hilton has been filmed calling black people that word that starts with "n," and doing drugs, and is in fact more revolting in her personal conduct than a lot of people who are so-called "real criminals." The only difference between Paris and the folks already in jail is that Paris has people to cover things up for her. She's protected by her family's money. Or has been up till now. So Spencer Pratt and all the other rich assholes who keep defending Paris - shut your stupid fucking idiotic mouths. You only seem sleazy and arrogant and elitist when you say Paris shouldn't be subjected to the horrors of "real jail," which is a euphemism for "icky place full of people who've never shopped at Barneys or been to Monte Carlo." There's a reason people hate the rich, and especially people like Paris who flaunt it the way they do. The whore deserves every second of misery and fear that's coming her way. And no, she's not going to get raped in jail - she'll be kept in a special pen away from the general population. You know that as well as I do. So shut the fuck up, Spencer, you steaming pile of hippo-dung.
(source)
