One Angelina Jolie is apparently not enough for planet earth. There are, even as we speak, numerous young starlets lining up to become Angelina II, and moving to the front of the queue, for her enthusiasm if nothing else, is Heroes cutie Hayden Panettiere.
So what makes Hayden such a great candidate for Angelinahood? Well, she went to Africa once - on a movie shoot - and saw lots of deprivation and starving, and people sitting there with flies buzzing around them and stuff. Which really, really moved her soul. Said Hayden:
It was eye-opening, seeing shanty towns. It makes you thankful for what you have but at the same time you admire how simple life is in other places.
What a lovely, caring little individual Hayden Panettiere is. So conscientious at such a young age. However, if I were her, I might want to think twice before pursuing this whole "following in Angelina's footsteps" thing. I mean, it probably sounds great on the surface - being a big-time movie-star who also happens to be the best hope for humanity's salvation (besides Madonna). But I wonder if Hayden really appreciates all such a thing entails. It's hard being Angelina - traipsing all over the world healing lepers, turning dust into bread, bringing the dead back to life. Plus, do you have any idea what all that jungle moisture does to your hair? And do you think you can find a decent masseur in the middle of Cambodia? Then there are the adoptions - oh Hayden, do you really want to wind up with your own little gaggle of multi-cultural shit-factories? All of whom need constant attention (unlike your biological kids, who you can pretty much just leave anywhere and not have to worry about them)? And then there's the little matter of male companionship. Yes, you're hot now Hayden, but what about in a few years, when the wear-and-tear starts to show, and you're up to your armpits in kiddies? I know Angelina has Brad, but he's special isn't he? What are the chances that you'll be able to find another man like Brad? I mean, besides Brad himself, who's probably already been checking you out. He's tired of Angelina I think...
Okay Hayden, I admit - I think it would be a sweet deal for you. Universal adulation, plus Brad Pitt. The only thing is, you better make sure your shots are up to date. And I'd also hire a bodyguard. Cause once Brad dumps Angelina for you, there's a good chance the crazy bitch will try to find you and stab you. And, unlike on Heroes, you do not have the power to heal yourself. Not yet, anyway...
(source)
